depressing posts are funnnnn
**i will preface this with a disclaimer: I don't want pity or sympathy; that is NOT my intention. I just need to put my current feelings out there so that I don' have to keep stewing about them.**
i've realized that I am romantically pessimistic. I use it as a defense mechanism to protect myself. In looking back, I have never been in a relationship, and all of my 'flings' have been devoid of any romantic feelings for the other person (despite what the other person has felt for me). Is this simply because I have yet to have a mutual romantic interest? Or is it because I only want what I can't have, thus screwing myself over? I'm not really sure. Maybe a bit of both?
Regardless, when I develop a crush, there is never that hopeful expectation. It is always a feeling of doubt and longing. I guess this protects me from the often inevitable sadness when the crush does not come to fruition, but after a while, it gets extremely emotionally draining. I guess that brief hopefulness charges your emotional battery, and I never have that. Its just a consistent sapping of energy.
I guess it all comes back to how picky I am about who I like. Its not something I do on purpose; it just kinda always been like that. Maybe its because I'm scared of being in a relationship. I dunno. I'm torn between trying to 'lower my standards' or waiting it out. Because on the one hand, I feel like my expectations aren't absurd and that I deserve the best; however, I might be preventing myself from finding something good.
hmmmm.
well, at the moment, I will vow to try to be more optimistic about things. Pessimism is unattractive and it may be preventing something.
Ok, here we go. Optimism!
posted by DanO at 6:17 PM
4 Comments:
yay for optimism! You do it, I do it, k?
-Gogo
11:46 AM
i know from personal experience that often i question whether or not richard and i are wasting time being together b/c we are so different and have like nothing in common and maybe it would be better to find someone who fits my "idea" of someone who would be better for me.
and then i think about my life without him and how absolutely miserable i would be.
not that i have good advice, ever, lol, but if i had passed on him based on "standards" or what i "thought" i would like, i would never be as happy as i am. there's definitely something to be said for playing the field and trying new things and seeing what you thought you would like AND what you thought you wouldn't like.
in conclusion, i think it's totally the right thing to be a ho. go ho.
mo.
whatever. be you.
8:16 AM
Dont you EVER lower your standards. I know exactly how you feel; i tend to go through periods where i go out with boring boys because theres nothing better. its a waste of time. Ive been in one years-long relationship, and ive been seeing a boy for about four months now, and ive learned that standards are high because thats what you deserve. things are easy when theyre right and theres no point to settling. besides, youre way more likely to get hurt by a just-good-enough boy than you are by one who actually deserves you. that is all.
ps, if anyone hurts you again just call me and ill cut the bitch
2:13 PM
...which isnt to say you should pass up boys without giving them a shot, but if you have a horrible date or arent feeling it, hold out for better
2:17 PM
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