The musings and goings-on in the life of a medium-sized fish in a semi-large pond.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

why???

I woke up yesterday and my left eyelid was a bit puffy. At first I thought it was pink eye, but fortunately its not. My uncle told me I have an infection or a stye, and that you basically just have to wait for it to go away on its own. This morning I woke up and its worse. I look 'special' because one of my eyes is more closed than the other. Like, I honestly look slow. xjkfbsakljhfxlkfbdkbfk

And natch, I have family dinner for my dad's side so I know my cousins will have a good laugh over this. Even worse, NYE is two days away, and for all I know, I will still have it when I go down to DC w/ Peter.

Ughhhhhh GO AWAY.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

ALSO

there may be a boy in my future.


we'll see how that goes...

yay break

So...break is nice so far.

I hung around school for a bit, just to get to chill with friends, sleep in and party at night. Had a great time, but came home on Friday to see family.

I do love being home. My parents are awesome. They refuse to keep me on a leash when I am home. They take me to meals, let me do my thing and I love them for it. I get along well with my siblings much better now that I am away, so its nice to see them as we have little/no contact when I am at school. I love my friends (though there are really only a few I like to see when I am home and they know who they are).

Its just...

I guess I am not really the same person I was when I graduated high school. Who is, I guess, but it seems significant. I talked to my mom about it, and she acknowledged that I have 'evolved' while at school, which makes being home difficult. In high school, I spent so much time at home, in my room. I hung out with friends here and there, but not every day. I watched tv, read, talked to people on aim, etc.

Now, at school, I am much more active socially. Rarely am I content sitting in my apartment for long periods of time. I crave activity. I like to go out, hang with friends, smoke, drink, enjoy life. I am on the move, constantly, and I have grown to need this activity. So being home, chillin and waiting for plans to spring up is really difficult. My family is constantly doing their own thing. My siblings have their own friends who they are with all the time. If not, they are playing basketball, with my parents in tow. My parents have their own errands to run, as well as work, etc.

So I make due, but its weird.

Anyways, I have had a good time since being home. Late night Minella's trip with Drew, Laura and the rest of the sophomores. Last night was one of the more fun nights I've had at home in a while. Laura, Mike, Jesse and I played kings, watched Mean Girls (complete with a drinking game), got drunk and had a good time. I may or may not have kissed a boy, but it was all in good fun for both of us, nothing more. In general, I guess I just like drinking with friends. This may or not make me an alcoholic (see previous post, I think), but whetev, its cool when you are in college, right?

I will be pretty busy this break. Christmas will involve family obligations, then Drew's birthday, then the Bermans come up for a week from Florida. Peter gets back from the British Virgin Islands (JEALOUS) on the 30th, and I am so stoked for New Years with him and the DC houghs. More hanging with the cousins til I go to NYC for a CitiGroup friends and family reception and hanging with Peter and more of his friends. Then I'll be saying goodbye again and headed back to school to work at OG for a while to make money for the next semester. In there, I need to see friends more, buy Christmas presents for a ridic amound of people, and sleep. So yea, I'll be busy.

I'm gonna get back to watching Live Free or Die Hard with Kev.

mwah.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Post 100

We’re not perfect.

We laugh too hard, we’re way too loud and we make complete fools out of ourselves

We’re much too comfortable with each other and a little too close for comfort

Our smiles are genuine,

We make our drinks too strong,

But somehow we know

That being together is what’s going to make us last forever

<3jt,ac,kg,en,rt,bjc<3

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

i think...

i might be becoming an alcoholic


also...i think I'm ok with that...

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

why is this song so perfect?
---------------------------------------------

"Almost Lover"
A Fine Frenzy

You fingertips against my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?


Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

i'm being absolutely ridiculous

but i can't help it. and i don't know why...

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

wow

I was just elected Treasurer of Theta Delta Chi

what have I gotten myself into?

Sunday, December 02, 2007

not doing so well

i am having so much trouble dealing with this right now. i don't really know why i am so hung up and thrown for a loop. i know i'm being silly, but i just can't help it.

lets dig into it, shall we?

Pretty much everyone knows I have the tendency to hook up with random people. this doesn't really bother me. I wasn't wired with the view of hooking up with someone as being anything more than that. Sexual release. I don't feel guilty after hooking up. I don't attempt to forge a relationship to make myself feel justified. I just...don't. If both parties enjoy it, then they should do it again, and maybe something emotional will be formed. If not, then thats that. Move on.

Looking back, I have realized that I haven't really ever (well, one other time...) hooked up with someone and actually wanted to continue, to do it again. Every other time, I was ready to move on. I didn't feel any connection.

But now...its this new feeling. I liked it. I liked him. I wanted this to not be the last time. Alas, it seems it will be, as he has a boyfriend. Which, oddly enough considering my penchant for unavailable/unattainable men, I didn't even know when I realized that I had a thing for him.

So now, I am stuck. I can't do anything but wait and see how things pan out. I hate the waiting. I'm sure it will be easier tomorrow, and easier still the day after, but I hate that this is happening. Its like, I am not sure that I will ever find someone. I have been so unlucky in love and its getting so ridiculously old. Wah wah blah blah. Whatever.

It just would have been nice if this one had worked out. I think it could have been great.

ALSO, someone took my brand new, ridiculously expensive and amazing looking coat last night. Hate it.