i should have known

that it was too good to be true.

(this is my blog, i'll whine as much as I want, thankyouverymuch. Also, venting here prevents me from doing it much to people's faces)

I was quite skeptical at first. I didn't put much energy into it, because I have had a rough past with these kinds of things. Over break, I slowly gained optimism, but pretty much kept it hidden, afraid to put it out there, to suffer public humiliation when nothing came of it.

But once we got back, things were good. I ventured out with my newfound optimism about my future. After the party, I freely and honestly answered questions, informing others of my excitement for the future. I did so even as things started to crumble, as my confidence decreased.

And now, here we are. The moment I expected from the beginning. And of course, I am regretting putting my feelings out there. I know, its bad luck, its not telling of my future. I know one of these days things will go in my favor, but jeez it sucks right now. My bubble got burst after such a long time of never letting it grow too big, and now I have to pick up the pieces and I am not sure when I will ever let it grow that big again.

ack. boys suck. i should just be straight.