that feels better

For the first time in a few weeks, I feel truly liberated. This needed to happen:


letting go
Between JP Brandt and You

so it is now pretty obvious that this whole friends thing isn't going to work. and it probably never was going to work, i guess. i'm not going to go into my feelings on the subject, as they really aren't important right now (and it would take me quite a while to go through them).

just letting you know that i'm gonna stop trying to reach out to you. i'm not going to IM you, message you, whatever. any attempt to do so thus far has only been to try and determine the state of things, and the lack of reciprocity has been quite telling. in reaching out multiple times and getting no real response, I have begun to feel that to others i must seem quite stalker-ish, which is definitely not something i want to be. so thats that.

to be honest, i still don't know what really went down. i really wanted (and still want) to believe that you meant everything you said, that it really wasn't me but that you weren't ready, but i think things have become clearer. i don't get it, as i thought we were moving in a great direction and seemed on the same page, but i don't doubt that i may have been delusional. things could definitely have been handled better (i'm a big boy, i can handle being told the truth, thank you very much) but, since i have definitely been in your situation, i do not deny the difficulty of your situation.

so i wish you luck. it was nice knowing you, and who knows what will come of the future. maybe we will cross paths again, maybe not. i'm not mad, just confused and slightly disappointed. i hope you figure yourself out, though. it is so important to just live your life, to do what makes you happy. i wish that for you, i really do. i hope that things are going better at home as well.

Goodbye,

Dan